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This tribe has been dead lately, but I've noticed a bunch of new members lately, so maybe this will be a good kick-start to some discussion.
Where are you along your path? Do you have a destination in mind, or are you just enjoying the walk? What are you working on right now, in terms of your relationship with "The Four Agreements"? Is there anything you've been doing more lately, anything you've been slacking on?
And....where are you in relation to your life before you read "The Four Agreements"? Has your life changed? How?
Where are you along your path? Do you have a destination in mind, or are you just enjoying the walk? What are you working on right now, in terms of your relationship with "The Four Agreements"? Is there anything you've been doing more lately, anything you've been slacking on?
And....where are you in relation to your life before you read "The Four Agreements"? Has your life changed? How?
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Berkeley North /Hills
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Sun, March 26, 2006 - 10:31 PMI'm actually settling into a nice groove with T4A..... it's been 3 years or so now since I picked up the book at the suggestion of my boyfriend, and it was really hard to grasp at first! The whole "don't take anything personally" was very hard at first, but I'm really getting so much better at it.
I pretty much have it down, now. The basics, anyway. There's so much more still to learn, and to work on, but my life is much happier and less-drama-laden now that I have basically stepped back from society and decided to create my OWN reality, rather than buying into the "dream".
I suppose I'm saying that I've really integrated it into my life to the point where it's a habit, rather than something I always need to think hard about. When I am upset, or things are difficult, it becomes a challenge again, but in my daily life, it's more more a part of the fabric of my reality that I've chosen for myself.
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Unsu...
Re: Where are you in your journey?
Mon, March 27, 2006 - 9:03 AMI am not the same person I was before reading the book all those years ago. Now the teachings are integrated into my life and show up daily in very small yet noticeble ways (at least to me). The hardest thing for me has always been the "doing your best" agreement as I always think I could be doing better. Right now, in fact, I am sitting here typing this and thinking about T4A instead of working on my job and takling care of business.
Other than that I feel great about life and hope everyone else does too.
Back to work.
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Mon, March 27, 2006 - 11:34 AMI actually JUST found & read this book about two weeks ago....and right now am on my second reading. It some ways it is so basic, and it some ways it is a bit overwhelming. -
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Mon, March 27, 2006 - 4:32 PMI am still on chapter 6 of the "voice of reason"...A great deal of this 411 I already knew in differnt terms. Not to sound negitive about it; quite the oppisite. It has so far filled in many of the gaps in my understanding. I look forward to this corse of study taking a higher priority in the exercise of time managment that is my life. Thx heather and platapus! -
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Mon, March 27, 2006 - 8:49 PMToltec Wisdom is like an onion. Peeling back a layer at a time reveals deeper layers, seen through tears of discovery, and each layer is sweeter than the last. Happy peeling!
LW
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Wed, March 29, 2006 - 1:00 AMooops...corecttion.... " the voice of knowledge"
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Tue, March 28, 2006 - 7:43 AMMy biggest challenge in life is "not taking it personally and not making assumptions". For me, those two really make a difference. I will confess that every day I have to remind myself of those agreements.
Reading this book has definitely changed my life. I feel much less stressed about what I used to percieve as others opinions of me. Now I realize I really have no clue, and I tend to think of things in a more positive manner. I am more forgiving of myself and my quirks.
It seems to me that more you understand and accept yourself, the better you are prepared to, if not completely understand, then at least accept and feel comfortable with others.
I hope that made sense. *snort*
sck -
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Tue, March 28, 2006 - 9:45 AMMy biggest challenge has been to stop taking things so personally. The other agreements were always ones that I felt were already incorporated in my life.
I've made great strides, but of course, have further to go.
Thanks, HL!
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Tue, March 28, 2006 - 12:15 PMi'm right on track.....don't have a choice it's not really up to me......just trying to keep my own mind in sequence with my soul's purpose.........the puzzle of me is almost at completion...thanks for asking.........rockin on with eyes wide open.........
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Tue, March 28, 2006 - 8:18 PMi love the book and idea of 'agreements' ...how we limit the views of ourselves and our vision of all that we can be
truth is i struggle with the 'impeccabile word' easy to say but much harder too do....
recently i have been listening to non-violent communication cd by Marshall Rosenberg... i have so far to go with using language as a gift and tool...so limited still in the art and craft of speaking/ still thinking/judging/evaluating and limiting myself and others
i am glad to be here with you all and look forward to our time ahead!
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Wed, March 29, 2006 - 10:34 AMI first read the book three years ago as I was trying to cope with a series of traumatic events in my life.
Initially, thinking about my Parasite and seeing all the ways it had infected my thinking compounded my suffering so I was in a bit of a vicious tailspin for awhile around T4A.
I've come back to it a few times and one piece that is helpful to me is around doing my best. Our best looks different at different times...when we are sick, for instance, our best will look different than when our bodies are healthy. Trying to do too much is not doing my best either.
I am careful about my use of words, and I feel good about that.
Not taking anything personally...well, I have to remind myself that ANYTHING is a pretty tall order to fill. I do forget sometimes, especially being impacted by the choices of other people.
My Path? I don't know what to share about that. For the past six months I've been in survival mode, trying to adjust to the demands of a new job that consumes all my time and energy. Thinking about my spiritual path seems like a luxury and an indulgence. I'm living day-to-day, trying to keep tomorrow's disasters at bay and figure out how to fix everything that went wrong today.
One thing i have noticed is that people don't like to be uncomfortable. Being authentic in my self-expression presents some challenges in that when people ask, "how are you," what they want to hear is "Oh, I"m fine", not what's really happening. They don't want to hear anything real that might make them look at their own lives or shake up their hell.
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Unsu...
Re: Where are you in your journey?
Wed, March 29, 2006 - 8:34 PMI'm very new to the Four Agreements but am being gifted a copy this coming weekend. However, the beliefs and prqactices go along with what I have studied for many years so I am open ot leanring and growing.
I have been working on communicating more clearly, slowly and being aware of my projection towards others in my environment. This has been wonderfui.
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Sun, April 9, 2006 - 1:03 PMOkay, I'll give it a shot. Forgive my poor communication skills. I picked up The four Agreements just a few weeks ago, and have read it several times. I am certainly nowhere close to perfecting them, but I have to admit that from the first time I read it, it just clicked with me. I felt comfortable with everything in the book, almost like I knew it all already, but wasn't trying. My current "dream" is a divorce after a sixteen year marriage. i know the past sixteen years is dead now, and the only thing that matters is now, but I have two kids to think about. The hardest thing for me right now is to not listen to my Judge (who has been quite rude as of late), and realize that I am begining a new and happier path. I know I will never abandon my children, but the ole Judge keeps telling me that I am. And my victim is constantly thinking...oh poor me, I will never find love again, who would want me, why me, etc. I guess i still have much to learn...or unlearn.
Anyway, there it is. That's where I am right now. I agree and understand the Agreements, but find it hard to relate to them when they are most needed. I guess I still need to break some old ones. I hope this was not an inapprpriate post (I'm very new here). -
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Sun, April 9, 2006 - 1:27 PMAndy;
Your post is perfect, as are you. Where you are and what you're doing are exactly as they should be, as there are no 'shoulds' anyway.....
I was handed a copy of T4A the week my wife was moving out after 22 years. That was 3.5 years ago. Our divorce was final last December. I believe this book is truly a gift to have during this difficult time for you. Embrace the book and its sequels. Find a Wisdom Group in your area and attend regularly. Even work with a teacher. This work will carry you like a sailboat in rough, windy waters. You can do this with impeccability, and that is the way to put it behind you with integrity, which is the only way to do it, IMHO. Your kids will thank you, and you will thank your Self.
Cheers, Love and Light
LW -
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Mon, April 10, 2006 - 6:02 PMI read the book years ago and we did a four week series at my church on the agreements. I think about the agreements still everyday, especially when I am upset or dealing with clients. It is my most given present to friends and family. Even though the agreements seem to simple they are so intense to bring into reality of everyday life. That is why I call it a spiritual practice....practice...practice......
Not taking things personally is one of the biggest gifts I have gotten and especially when I am parenting my children.
And the beat goes on and on
Peace~
MG
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Unsu...
Re: Where are you in your journey?
Wed, April 12, 2006 - 12:21 PMI recently completed the Four Agreements and I can’t rave enough about this book and the Toltec Wisdom. Although it presents simple concepts it is a gentle reminder on how to live a more fulfilling life.
So…here is what I took from the book and where my current challenges are in implementing the concepts.
Lesson 1 – I recently went through a situation with a dear friend in which he offered us space in a house that he currently rents. He has four roommates at this time and we disussed only the three of us living in the space and splitting the rent. So, my hubbie discuss and lay out our conditions for moving in. He agrees to everything including the most important post not pushing anyone out of the house that currently lives there. If they were to leave on their own accord then we would consider. The next day he gets into a huge fight with one of the roommates and tells her that BT and I are moving in May 1. She must leave. This is an ex girlfriend. Then, he comes over and tells us this. We feel immediate red flags because this went against our agreement with him. For the next two weeks I dealt with this person accusing us of screwing him on rent (which is not true because we were waiting to see how it would play out first before we signed anything) and then he started to take personal digs and started to gossip about us to others. I was very upset. Tried to calm him down. We have the same circle of friends. So, I am trying to figure out where I went wrong. I thought I was clear in my communication to him about how it would/would not work for us. But, since this situation I have made an agreement with myself to stay clear of all drama and not commit to anything (in this situation we were pushed to make a decision in one day by the person involved). Thsi left me feeling pressured, frustrated and in the end angry with the other person. I have let this go and now I feel compassion because I know they are hurting and their reactions are a result of their actions that they took.
Lesson 2 - I have had a huge struggle with this my entire life. I tend to be very sensitive and occasionally I will take on a comment, a suggestion or other people will come to me to help with their dramas. I have made an agreement with myself to walk away from drama, recognize that the person’s comment is coming for their ideal and opinion and although suggestions are nice I don’t have to act on them or accept them.
Lesson 4 - I have been slowing down my life considerably. We are staying home on the weekends, cutting down the amount of events we attend and committing to things on the day of if it feels right. Thus, not letting other people dictate our schedule and making time for ourselves and the things we really want to do.
I would love your feedback and suggestions. I am all about personal growth right now.
4 more months until the playa – I can hardly wait. -
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Sat, April 15, 2006 - 3:23 PMI 1st read the book 4-5 years ago...seems like a lifetime cause i have done so much personal growth sence then...i have all of them down as pat as i can at this moment....and am in proscess of stamping out the last remainers of the paricite and connecting my dreams...i have found that when you live this way, many people refuse to accept the way you live. but the only way someone can be mad at me is for being different or cause they have a wanting to be mad and angry.. it is a blessing to walk away from those people till they can accept you the way you are...the biggist evil of man is negitave thoughts...it can creep up on people without reconizing it untill it changes your world and becomes a part of you/agreement.
but sometimes you bring yourself to a place where you cant move on except to stand fast in the malstom of the storm before you can move on, sometimes new agreements cant be made without fighting franticly for them
Example
been liveing at this house im in for 3 years.
everytime in the past i have had a living situation turn sour...i left to keep my sainity.
but i made an agreement to walk away from negitivity to the extent i would loose good possiblities to be away of the negitive impact on my life.
I now call this running away if your in a place where your warrior should come out.
so after a year of living here with one person we got another roomate who was negitively affecting my life...thought about moving...but im a beliver in lowering my overhead to acheive my dreams with more speed....and this place (on an expensive island) was $300 a month (cheapist you can get) and i did not have to move anytime in the forseeable future and still dont....so a place to study and get closer to where i want to be with less energy flowing to clients...so i decided to make a stand...brought my warrior out and would tell him when he was negitive the truth of his actions and calmly as possible (yelling dosent hurt others as much as the words you use...but yelling hurt the yeller vary much, energy wise it drains you of positive thoughts)..whitch made him very angry..i had to accept where i was in life and realize the steps to change my life for the better where i was before i could move on...i always trade up in life.....at one point we didnt talk for almost 6 months cause he had an anger problem with wanting to be dominent and angry when he couldnt use you as a pissing post to make himself feel better...lol....and i put a stop to that useing my best tools..my mind.....
after the non speaking period he decided he couldnt live here and decided to move on.....but by then i was walking in saying hi and saying welcome home when he came in so much (i saw the change in him) that he dicided i wasnt so bad and he couldnt use me as a pissing post and we both made comprimises to get along with each other in a possitive way..i have now lived with him for over 2 years....
that is so not an experiance i want ever again....
but it made me stronger in the long run and would do it again if needed.....sometimes you need accept where you are at in life even if you dont want to be there to move on in a positive way
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Sat, April 22, 2006 - 5:24 PMLast night I realized again the importance of not making assumptions. I saw again how simple it is to say "don't make assumptions" but as I see it, we have to make assumptions on some level in order to function. I 'd never get anywhere in a conversation if I questioned everything the other person said.
I get really angry with myself for my arrogance when I think I'm in a place of peace or awareness or whatever and then realize I was making all kinds of assumptions to fuel my idea of reality, and being a sensitive being it is incredibly challenging to Not Take Anything Personally.
So now I think the way to function in this world is to not believe or trust anything or anyone. It's all an illusion anyway and getting my heart set on an idea is a guarantee that it will get broken.
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Re: Where are you in your journey?
Tue, May 2, 2006 - 7:34 AMI picked up the book a year and a half ago after finding this tribe. It was a pretty low point in my life - it was the holidays, I was taking care of my Mom after surgery and Big Mike was out on a walkabout to find some of his own answers. I had left Teesa home to fine hers in our empty house.
Don Miguel's words are simple and deep. I read them over and over, underlined passages, read them out loud to my friend Alan, my sister. I was so excited by the information. So simple - so true! In went back and bought many more copies for my family. Each of us had a strong connection with one of the four agreements.
It was funny, every time I went to tell someone about the 4, I could only remember 3. 'Don't make assumptions' was the one I kept forgetting. And that is the one that is my big challenge. I tend to make an assumption about other people's meanings and intentions. I don't check in with them on what they really mean. I just retreat into myself and let my judge and victim start a very noisy dialog.
Reading the book gave me insight into that whole dialog that goes on too loud in my head and how that 'committee' in my head came up with it's rules. Giving the book to my family and friends created a new common language for us to discuss things, call each other on things and work out stuff. 'Be Impeccable with your word' has become a mantra - I have a tendancy to encourage talking about people and I realized that saying it made it so. If I choose to see it another way - that is how it becomes.
Finding these words helped me fine a better path than the one I was on year before last. It was a great Christmas Gift - the best - that year. I was able to clear a way through the mitote - find myself - find my peeps - and bring everyone back home. I made a lot of progress last year and we all came closer together.
I realize - in reading this thread - it is time to read it again. I have farther to go.
Thanks for asking HeatherLynn
TerriLynn
